When the Nightmares Don’t End: America’s Endless Cycle of School Shootings

Another school shooting, another wave of outrage tweets, candlelight vigils, and “thoughts and prayers.” And then—nothing changes.

On February 14, 2008, I was a student at Northern Illinois University when a gunman opened fire in Cole Hall, killing five students and injuring 17 more before taking his own life. I wasn’t in the building, but I saw the running, screaming students. I saw the police. I saw the helicopters circling above campus. And I still see them in my nightmares.

It’s been years since that day. I’ve lived abroad, joined the Peace Corps, worked in China, fallen in love, gotten married, and become a mother of two beautiful boys. But despite the time and distance, I can’t escape the memories—or the fear.

Fear, Now as a Parent

My oldest son is now school-aged, and I find myself doing something I never imagined: considering buying him a bulletproof backpack. I wish that sentence were a dark joke. I wish I didn’t have to explain what a “lockdown drill” is. I wish we lived in a country that valued the lives of its children more than the “right to bear arms.”

Every time there’s another school shooting, I feel my stomach twist. I see the faces of terrified students—students who could just as easily be my son or his classmates. And every time, the same excuses are trotted out: “Banning weapons won’t keep them out of the hands of criminals.”

That’s bull.

When was the last time we heard, “Gang member shoots multiple students in a school?” The majority of mass shootings in America are not gang-related; they’re carried out by individuals—often white men—who legally purchased their weapons. According to The Violence Project, nearly 80% of mass shooters obtained their guns legally (The Violence Project, 2023).

The Real Reason Nothing Changes

So why don’t we act? Why does every effort to enact even modest gun control die in Congress?

The answer is simple: money.

Gun manufacturers and their lobbying arms—most infamously the National Rifle Association (NRA)—have poured millions of dollars into political campaigns to block reform. In 2022 alone, the gun lobby spent over $12 million on federal lobbying efforts (OpenSecrets, 2023). That money buys silence, gridlock, and “thoughts and prayers” instead of policy.

As someone with a degree in history, I can’t help but roll my eyes at the misuse of the Second Amendment. The amendment was written in 1791 to allow a “well-regulated militia” to defend against tyranny. But after the Civil War and a series of Supreme Court decisions, including Dennis v. United States (1951), the idea of overthrowing the U.S. government is not only illegal—it’s considered treason.

So if the Second Amendment can’t be used to justify armed rebellion, what’s left? The modern justification isn’t liberty—it’s capitalism.

The gun industry has wrapped itself in the flag and sold Americans a narrative that owning an AR-15 makes them patriots. But that’s a marketing campaign, not a moral truth. It’s designed to keep the money flowing, no matter how many classrooms become crime scenes.

The Human Cost

Since Columbine in 1999, there have been over 400 school shootings in the United States (Washington Post, 2024). More than 400,000 students have experienced gun violence at school.

That means hundreds of thousands of children—like my son—are growing up with trauma, fear, and lockdown drills instead of carefree recesses.

And parents like me? We’re growing up, too—but into a world of constant anxiety. I find myself praying every morning when I drop my son off: Please, not today.

What Needs to Change

I’m not naïve enough to think this problem will be solved overnight. But I know what won’t solve it: silence, cynicism, and despair.

Real change starts when we, as a country, decide that children’s lives matter more than corporate profits. When we vote for leaders who are willing to stand up to the gun lobby. When we pass policies like:

• Universal background checks for all gun purchases
• Red flag laws to prevent those at risk of violence from obtaining weapons
• Mandatory buyback programs for high-capacity assault weapons
• Safe storage laws to prevent child access

We can do these things. Other countries have. Australia passed sweeping gun reforms after a 1996 massacre, buying back over 600,000 weapons—and they haven’t had a mass shooting since (BBC News, 2021).

So why can’t we?

Because too many people are profiting from the pain.

I wish the nightmares would stop. I pray for my child’s safety. But until America chooses its children over capitalism, I know that I—and millions of other parents—will keep waking up in fear.

References

• The Violence Project. (2023). Mass Shooter Database. https://www.theviolenceproject.org/
• OpenSecrets. (2023). Gun Rights: Lobbying, 2022. https://www.opensecrets.org/industries/totals.php?ind=Q13&cycle=2022
• The Washington Post. (2024). School Shootings Database. https://www.washingtonpost.com/education/interactive/school-shootings-database/
• BBC News. (2021). Australia’s Gun Laws and Their Impact. https://www.bbc.com/news/world-australia-47396454